


Come on snake, let's rattle

by felinedetached



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 02:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: while looking up 1950s slang, i found the phrase “come on snake, let’s rattle,” which has 2 meanings: asking someone to dance, and challenging someone to a fightand. hhhooooooooo boy does that fact have some PotentialInvite your crush to the dance floor, but instead they just fuckin deck you





	Come on snake, let's rattle

Your name is Dirk Strider and you have just been invited to a party.

TT: Kanaya and I would love everyone to be there.  
TG: id never miss a party rosey especally not one that youre hosting!  
TG: ill bring janey and callie too!  
TG: im def not missing a chance to see karkat freak out at something  
TG: and thats a guarantee when we all get together  
TG: well be there  
TT: You’re not coming for me? Dave, I’m offended.  
TT: I'm glad you're all coming, though.  
TG: hold up rosey ur missing a response  
TG: dirkkkkkk  
TG: dirkkk get in here n come to roseys party!  
TT: I can’t. Sorry, Rose.  
TG: awww why not?  
TT: I’m busy.  
TG: dude relax  
TG: not like your work will run away from you or something  
TG: sprouting legs and turning on running off into the sunset with another one of your creations  
TG: will we be invited to the wedding who knows but you certainly wont the being fled from you  
TG: never to be seen again  
TG: shit that got away from me  
TG: anyway come to the party dude relax have some fun  
TG: i can get janey to bring jakey  
TT: Fine, Fine. I’ll come.  
TT: ;)  
TG: dude  
TG: wonk  
TT: …  
TT: It's not because Roxy mentioned Jake.  
TG: that is totes the only reason youre coming  
TT: I’ll be there.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased responding to memo “the tmi family”

TG: hes totally only coming for jake  
TT: I’m offended at the implication. Does _nobody_ in this family want to come to this party for me?  
TG: nope

… You are not going because of Jake.

Who are you kidding. You totally are.

* * *

 

The door to Rose’s looms above you, and based on what you’d learned from Roxy and Dave as well as stories of the author of _Complacency of the Learned_ , you aren’t surprised. You knock on the huge gothic knocker and idly wonder why Kanaya didn’t stop Rose from putting that on their front door.

Surprisingly, when said door swings open, Roxy is standing on the other side.

“Dirk! You came!” she yelps, pulling you into a hug.

“Of course,” you reply, mildly uncomfortable, “I told Rose I would.” Roxy steps back, thankfully, and lets you into the house. Entering, you finally see Kanaya’s influence. It’s well-lit, the walls painted white. Swaths of fabric decorate every surface, various fabrics all of radiant colours. Rose and Kanaya seem to be the Lesbian Power Couple of Earth C, but their house, quite frankly, is a mess.

You can relate.

Roxy drags you into the main room, which is quite obviously where the party is being held. The furniture has been pushed back against the walls, leaving open space in the middle of the floor. Classical music is blaring over the speakers, a jaunty, upbeat tune. You see Dave over by the table with Karkat, and Roxy leaves your side to join Jane and Callie on the dance floor. Rose is watching over the party, Kanaya by her side, a satisfied smirk curling the corners of her lips. The perfect hostess.

Jake, however, is sitting on the couch. Alone.

Edging around the dance floor, you make your way over to where he’s sitting.

“Hey, Jake,” you say, sitting next to him on the couch. The gap between you seems like a chasm. There is no bridge in sight.

“Dirk!” he replies, his voice as cheery as always. “How are you?”

“Good! I’m good, and you?” you reply.

“Good! Yeah I’m good too,” he replies, trailing off. You both lapse into silence, the air thick with tension. The awkwardness of the situation hangs over you like a blanket, a physical thing you swear you can _feel_. It’s suffocating.

Desperately, you cast around for something to say to break the silence. The recesses of your mind must contain _something_ , right?

You remember reading something once, about a phrase that seems so _Jake_ , and has something to do with inviting people to dance. You’d love to dance with Jake, even once, and this seems like a pretty sure way to get to do that. Turning to face him, you say his name. He looks up, green eyes curious.

“Come on snake, let’s rattle,” you say, standing and extending your hand to him.

You were not expecting the cross to your jaw.

The entire party goes silent, aside from a quiet “ooh” from Roxy. Typical of her, really. Your sunglasses slide down, now perched precariously on the end of your nose.

_What the fuck?_

You look back at Jake, shoving your sunglasses back up against your face. He looks ready for retaliation, another round of fisticuffs or something similar. Did you misunderstand that phrase?

“Challenging me to a fight in the middle of your sister’s party, Strider? A rather odd choice, don’t you think?”

Oh.

Yeah.

That phrase had two meanings, didn’t it.

“That didn’t go the way I hoped,” you mutter, mentally cataloging your injuries. No broken bones from what you can tell, thank god.

“Well, what way did you hope it would go?” Jake asked, a decidedly hostile note inflecting his voice.

“I’d hoped to ask you to dance,” is your reply. God, you’re a mess tonight aren’t you? Rose snorts, and you still aren’t entirely certain that she can’t read your mind. Of course, she could have been reacting to what you’d said.

“Oh!” Jake exclaims, relaxing. “Well, I’d be honoured!” He steps towards you, offering his hand in a mirror of the way you’d originally offered your own. You take it, instead of _decking_ him, and let him lead you onto the dance floor. Rose puts on a waltz, and you’re torn between wanting to kill her and wanting to buy her the trashiest novel you can find - one with drama, romance, wizards and vampires.

All the things she’d just _love_.

When Jake drags you closer, you decide on the second. He leads, pulling you around the dance floor, each step measured, falling in time to the beat of the music. A dance partner to envy. He’s perfect, even after punching you in the face.

He’s perfect _because_ he decided you’d be asking him for a fight in the middle of your sister’s party.

His name is Jake English, and you love him more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr [@felinedetached](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/)


End file.
